FREE ADVICE to any man who is told that he fathered a child and that the DNA proves it: Don’t lie!
Genealogists come with the receipts. Follow this story to see how DNA talks. I shall eliminate info that would serve as ID for anyone but another genealogist:
November 2024, a new match popped for me:
22 cM w/ a man who also shares DNA w/ 1 Plank; 2 Cripe/Nesbits; 8 Hufford/Planks; 4 Cripe/Daniels; 13 Hufford/Cripes; 3 Hooker/Huffords.
That spread of DNA shares told me that this new DNA match descends from my three-greats grandparents Andrew HUFFORD (1827-1881) and Sarah Catharine CRIPE (1833-1907). They lived their adult lives in Carroll Co., IN. Thirteen children survived childhood: 10 sons, 3 daughters. And I had autosomal DNA proof thru 9 of those children. (Andrew was son of Abraham, who was son of Casper, who was son of Christian b. 1716 who arrived in Pennsylvania in 1729)
Among our shares was a 270-cM match he had w/ a woman who was the granddaughter of one of Andrew and Sarah’s sons. That match told me which child of Andrew and Sarah was the Hufford ancestor of my newly found 22-cM match.
The man’s profile page showed a friendly-looking face and included the message: “Adopted.”
Nov. 11, 2024, I sent him a message:
“You and I share 22 cM of DNA. I can tell that you descend from my 3-greats-grandparents Andrew HUFFORD and Sarah Catharine CRIPE. If you want some answers, almost certainly, I can help you puzzle things thru.”
The man let me see his DNA matches, and by Nov. 22, 2024, the DNA revealed one set of the man’s grandparents. I did not know whether they were his paternal or maternal grandparents, but I could tell for sure who one set of the man’s grandparents were. And those grandparents were not on the man’s HUFFORD side.
Looking at the newly-found grandparents of my 22-cM match, DNA into and age ruled out all but one of the sons of the grandparents, and they had only one daughter. That meant that either their oldest son was the father of my 22-cM match, or their daughter was the mother of my 22-cM match. I made contact with the daughter — who was either the birth mother or the sister of the birth father. Why? Discretion for the woman if it were she. And, if she were the aunt, she would know how to approach her brother.
The woman acknowledged maternity, had appropriate responses, was happy to hear that the baby she’d birthed grew up in a loving family, that he’d had a good life, and that he loved his mom and dad. (Mom and dad are always the adoptive parents. Good, bad, or indifferent, Mom is the woman who mom-ed you as you grew up.)
I explained to the woman that I was related to whoever was the bio-father and that, eventually, the DNA would tell me who the bio-father was, but that all I could tell at that time was that the man descended from my ancestors Andrew and Sarah. The reality was that I could tell descent was from one particular son, but I did not go into that with her.
The woman gave a full name for the bio-father, and the last name was HUFFORD. She said the town he was from, but she no longer knew where he lived or knew anything about him. Her only interest was contact info for the baby whom she’d birthed.
The fact that the bio-father carried the surname HUFFORD was a real bonus! It meant that he carried the name and the DNA and was in the area close to Carroll county; that meant that he was an in-the-open descendant. Even if the HUFFORD name had carried thru an unmarried HUFFORD woman, it had been done in the open. I looked back at Andrew and Sarah’s son whom I knew my 22-cM match descended from. He had three sons who lived beyond childhood, b. 1888, 1896, 1900:
The son b. 1888 had two sons.
The son b. 1896 had no children.
The son b. 1900 had only one son (b. 1930), and the man b. 1930 moved far from Carroll County before 1955, and ALL of his children were by-adoption.
That meant that the line of my 22-cM match had to come thru the son son b. 1888.
The man born in 1888 had two sons — twins b. 1920. One twin never married and had no children. That meant that the line came thru the other twin, who married and had three sons.
Among the matches of my 22-cM match were matches showing that he descended from the ancestors of the woman whom that twin born in 1920 married. In other words, for sure I’d found the other set of grandparents of my 22-cM match. The twin born in 1920 and his wife had three sons, born 1955, 1961, and 1964. One of them had the name given to me by the birth mother.
One of those three brothers is the bio-father of my 22-cM match. Is it possible that, in 1983, a man used the name of his older brother over a period of several weeks/months as he established a relationship with a woman and left her with a child? Well, it’s possible, but not too likely.
Never lie to a genealogist. Just don’t do it. In days of yore, I walked thru cow pastures w/ fresh manure to get to old gravestones, dig ’em up, and uncover hidden info. It’s so much easier now, but just never lie to a genealogist: We come with the receipts.
Hufford Genealogy 